New Orleans Hornets To Acquire Dwight Howard

Dwight Howard will be coming to the New Orleans Hornets

It has just been confirmed that the New Orleans Hornets have acquired center Dwight Howard from the Orlando Magic in exchange for three mid-priced family vehicles, a rare 1918 American penny and a packet of Lays potato chips. In the midst of several Orlando media outlets reporting that Chris Paul was coming to Orlando for Jameer Nelson, Hedo Turkoglu and Earl Clark the Hornets decided to enter discussion not to get rid of Paul, but to get him help. It was an offer that Orlando could not refuse.

In a press conference, General Manager Otis Smith said, “Giving up a player like Dwight Howard meant we had to get something back in return. I’m a big coin collector and having it as our starting center will be instrumental in getting the Magic back to the NBA finals.”

Jameer Nelson also chipped in after hearing his name come up in trade rumors, “Look, as great as it was to play with my man Dwight, getting a 5-door, 2011 Kia Optima will be great for getting me to and from games. I think it also has to be exciting for Magic fans because now we can put it on the court and show up the likes of Blake Griffin.”

Although not all Magic players like the move, “I’ll be honest,” JJ Redick a guard for the Magic said, “I think we could’ve got a little more from the Hornets. I went through those Lays chips pretty quickly, I also would’ve liked some dip.”

From the New Orleans side things couldn’t be better. They now have a superstar to pair with Chris Paul and David West which will make them even more dangerous heading into next years season.

With the move local businessman Gary Chouest came out to declare his investment in the team. “First off I’d like to say that the Hornets have had a close place in my heart for so many years, but getting a player like Dwight Howard was just the kind of move we needed to piss off Mark Cuban which is why I’ll buy this team!”

Chris Paul was ecstatic over twitter, messaging his fans with, “We got my boy D white! @carmeloanthony how u lyk me now?” This was then followed up by, “Awww damn I loved my 2011 Kia Optima…not too sure about this trade now..”

Other more prominent people like Spike Lee had this to say, “I cannot believe these small market teams! How are they in the NBA? No one cares about them even if they represent true die hard fans of NBA basketball and not the typical bandwagon, shallow minded large market fan. We wanted those two big time assets! I mean who doesn’t like the sounds of a 1918 American penny and a couple of Lays crisps on the Knicks starting lineup? I know I do…”

While the trade was a risky one for New Orleans it had to be done in order to get a player like Dwight Howard. While we’ll all miss the fond moments of the 1918 American penny coin it just wasn’t the right fit.

Oh and for all those ignoramuses out there, this is not a real factual story it’s just to make fun of all the crap that Hornets fans go through hearing about trades for Chris Paul in which the other team would give up absolutely nothing to acquire a talent like Chris Paul. While I think it’s highly unlikely Dwight Howard ever actually goes to the Hornets, I think Dell Demps will still be pursuing every possible scenario where he does pair up with Paul in NOLA. Again, the most likely outcome is that both Paul and Dwight play together, just not in New Orleans or in Orlando.


Tags: Chris Paul Dell Demps Dwight Howard New Orleans Hornets

  • Stupid azz

    stupid story

    • James Grayson

      Stupid sense of humor.

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  • Dwight Howard

    man you retarded

    • James Grayson

      I don’t know man, you have a pretty awful left hook.

  • Chris Paul

    Yeah man, this is a stupid story. I don’t want to be anywhere but New Orleans, except well… Charlotte ain’t bad, neither is New York, LA is looking solid, and there are plenty of other great destinations as well… point is why make up this stupid bullshit getting little boys to believe this stupid ass shit. C’mon dude. You better.

    • James Grayson

      Not sure you got the point. It was a joke…I guess you are to high and mighty to get that, so come off your high chair to join the rest of us human beings.

  • Jake Madison

    “I’m a big coin collector and having it as our starting center will be instrumental in getting the Magic back to the NBA finals.” That made me laugh out loud

    • James Grayson

      Good to see some people can have a laugh and not take things so seriously. Haha.

  • Steve

    Chris Paul could come to Orlando. Dwight Howard probably wouldn’t even think about going to New Orleans. Orlando is willing to spend money and New Orleans, well I doubt anyone has a clue about what they’re trying to do.

  • NuNu

    What makes this story so funny is that Orlando’s front office is actually dumb enough to make a trade like this. LOL

    • James Grayson

      Thanks NuNu for your comment. Yea the trade they pulled to get back Hedo and get Gilbert Arenas wasn’t all that great and I think in a way it was an “all in move.”

      If Orlando wants to get Dwight some talent they’re going to have to do some serious work this off-season.

      If you were to ask me who is more likely to be moved, Chris Paul or Dwight Howard? I’d say Howard.

  • smiller504

    Chill out guys! Its a joke.. And the media does this stuff ALL THE TIME with bogus Chris Paul rumors, but because he’s not in a big market, everyone goes apeshit. Why can’t Chris Paul be like Reggie Miller in Indy or Tim Duncan in San Antonio, and simply stay in a city because of loyalty?

    • James Grayson

      Hey smiller504! Thanks for the comment. Yeap, some people can’t take a joke and it bugs me that some people are so high and mighty about it. I think if Paul is to stay in New Orleans he’s got to get some more talent around him. Perhaps a better 2-guard, another 7-foot big man who can block shots and rebound. The most imperative thing though, is resigning BOTH David West and Carl Landry.

  • coach44

    The Magic front office has made some horrible moves trying to shore up that roster. I would put my faith in Dell before them. Why does Paul have to leave? We have him. Let the players come to us.

    • James Grayson

      You know coach44 I wouldn’t be surprised if Chris Paul is talking to Dwight about maybe coming here. I think that with our front office and excellent coaching staff that it would appeal big time to Dwight.

      Still it’s a VERRRRRRRRY long shot. Apparently the Lakers are coming hard after him willing to put everything on the plate. I still can’t think you could rule us out, but still if I were to put a percentage I’d say we have a 5% chance of grabbing him.

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