New Orleans Pelicans Christmas: Gifts for various Pelicans

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Dec 20, 2015; Denver, CO, USA; New Orleans Pelicans center Omer Asik (3) drives to the basket past Denver Nuggets forward

Kenneth Faried

(35) during the second half at Pepsi Center. The Pelicans won 130-125. Mandatory Credit: Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Omer Asik’s gifts: 

Nathan:  Some of those sweet kicks with the springs

Look, Omer. I know, it’s really difficult to put the ball in the rim without someone blocking the shot, especially for a guy who is seven feet tall. So, for Christmas, you get an awesome pair of shoes with springs in the heel, just like what all of the kids are wearing. No more getting blocked every other attempt for you. Nope, the extra 1/16 of an inch of vertical you get from these bad boys is sure to negate your innate ability of getting the ball volleyball spiked back into your face. Everyone has been talking about how you’ve been a disappointment this season, but with these shoes, you are sure to be an All-Star.

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Matt: Hands

Playing basketball without hands is pretty hard which makes Omer Asik making it to the NBA all the more impressive. Now just imagine that the giant man who only stands near the rim had the ability to catch the ball cleanly and not lose it on the way to the rim. If Omer only had hands he could be an All-NBA type player. This one was easy.